Come to the woods, come to the woods she said. It is quiet here, and soft, and the birds are singing sweet songs that sound like your name
I want to dissolve into you
to feel the fullness of you in me
I had the taste of you last night
breath, heavy, rhythmic, undulating
sound floating from my body
as if the universe was moaning
through my own lips
the quiver of you
the shake of me
the endless expanse of open
when you can have me now
full and ready
wide eyes seeing the depths of you
feeling the depths of me
as we gaze into this mirror of eternity.
A love poem to my self…….September 2018.
I have loved you as if there was no one else
I have loved you
with no rhyme, no reason
asking nothing in return
I have loved you
past the edges of my soul
past this life
and the next
I have loved you
through our scars
and through our emptiness
I have loved you
to the edges of ecstasy
entering other worlds
I have loved you
eyes gazing at the moonlight
reflected in our eyes
I have loved you
when you where kissing her soft lips
and not mine
I have loved you
rivers of stars
cascading on every side
I choose to love you
to the wild edges of this
time, space, reality
until this moment becomes
until darkness becomes
until the void becomes
until emptiness becomes
What I have learnt about love, is that there are angels in human form who come into your life to teach you how to love yourself more..... this is the meaning of loving another, to learn to love yourself more deeply, more throughly and without compromise.....a thousand pranayams to those who have been that for me on this path. I love you.
Marianne Williamson, talks about priestesshood, being a woman today and reminds us to stand... deep love to this powerful and incredible woman
“Living a meaningful life is not a popularity contest. If what you’re saying is always getting applause, you’re probably not yet doing the right stuff.” — Marianne Williamson
Here is something I wrote for Sianna Sherman one of my teachers when she asked me to comment on the goddess
There is nothing more powerful than a woman who has embodied the Goddess and therefore her own SOUL. She burns with divine LOVE and is courageous enough to show it...Goddesses are symbols of ourselves, they show us where we can show up more...how we can heal more... and how to stand in the strong and powerful presence of life and not shrink back. Goddesses remind us that our feminine bodies are magical and are a portal to a greater spiritual knowing and understanding of ourselves as individual goddesses and as a collective. Each of us, as we embody the goddesses in ourselves, bring more love and more empowerment to each and everyone of us as women.
We are……………endless light travelling across dimensions, across starscapes and universes, across valleys, river and seas, we are lifting, flying endless roaming in search for each piece of ourselves, we are shifting, drifting sands of time, space, reality, we are through, out, in, around and on all sides, we are forward, backwards, in place of faith, in place of truth and in love with the sweet salty ecstasy of lovers lost and found.
The shaman knew the power of images and dance, these besides herbs where the main invocations for transformation and healing.
For me as an artist, therapist and poet, my most humble and profound tool is the image, it is a complete creative act, the opening to endless possibilities for change and renewal.
She stands between worlds
What is a shaman? Classically a shaman was a messenger between the human world and the spirit world/underworld but this can also be understood as the unconscious, our own individual unconscious and also the collective unconscious that we share as humans.
To access these places and it's knowledge, she may use altered states of consciousness (trance states), dance, music and/or herbs and tonics.
She is a messenger between the human world and the spirit world said to treat ailments/illness by mending the soul.
Alleviating traumas affecting the soul or spirit restores the physical body and brings one back to balance and wholeness.
Since arriving here I have come home
Since coming home I have been arriving here
A process that has brought me
To this land
To this people.
Tomorrow we will dance
Returning to the mountain
I wait for the moment
To tear me open.
Spirits leap and say yes
Scream yes to the sky
To this open field laid before me
I wait for the moment
to be born.
Transformation requires preparation.
Who makes the choice who heals and who doesn't? This is a mystical question, but in the long-term we do need to be willing.
Willing to trust, willing to dive into that icy sea, willing to be in the dark, cold stillness of the deep sea and to wait...
"Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought...and the darkness shall be the light and the stillness the dancing" (T.S.Elliot)
What is willingness? Willingness is giving permission, saying yes to something outside yourself, perhaps the rhythms and fluctuations of the universal dance, the deep sea tidal flow, and allow your being to soften enough to allow grace to slip in between our cells and occupy our deep spaces.
And what are we waiting for? Not for some cosmic explosion of cells - although this does happen. But most often it is something soft, something childlike, like the flutter of a butterflies eyelid, the footfall of a wolves paw as it pads out from the shadows.
This is surrender. It is surrender to the nothing without the nothing having to BE something.
It is cold here, and the moon is dark, the rocks whisper to each other in secret sign language.
You are alone and the stillness begins to ....move.
2012, Melbourne Release Me workshop
Running with Mary
Here is an article I have been toting around in my bag for about 10 years and I still love it. It reminds me of the difference of being good and nice, of following your dreams verses rolling with the status quo.
With thanks to Jane Russell Simins the original author, I have added a few of my own nuances to her thoughts about the BVM. Enjoy.
My fave goddess is pretty traditional: the Blessed Virgin Mary a.k.a, the BVM for short. She gets a bad rap - spokesgirl for virginity, posterchild for Catholic boy madonna/whore mindgames - but I think of her as a mystical, pro-choice bad-ass, and one of my best buddies. Even if you're not religious (or even if your anti-religious), her story can be seen as being about trusting yourself, and it's one of the best fiesty girl stories of all time.
I first heard of the BVM in church, Baptist church and to Baptists she is known more simply as The Virgin Mary, although they didn't explain what "virgin" means to little kids. To me she was immediately suspicious, because everybody knows Catholics worship Mary and thus have a good shot at going to hell. (those Madonna and Child stamps at christmas always drew little "hmphs" from my grandmother). But here she was right in Luke, Chapter 2, so they had to talk about her in church.
My next context for the BVM and Catholics (I didn't actually meet a Catholic until I was 10 - welcome to the south) was in Little Women,where Amy has to stay with Aunt Mary Wickes and meets their French maid. Now, there are alot of things young Amy could have learned from a French maid, but what she did learn was Catholicism,devotion and piety. Thus began my secret pre-adolescent fantasies of repeated prayers and beads and confession. It seemed to me that catholics got to be assured over and over again that they where good, and if they weren't good they got to tell someone in secret and it would be all better. This sounded alright to me, because my chief concern was weather or not I was good enough.
I didn't think too much more about the BVM until I met this awesome Catholic guy (no mind games here, thank you). One night I made him whip out the rosary and give me the low-down, and when he got to the last two glorious mysteries - Mary is bodily assumed into heaven and Mary is crowned Queen of Heaven - I laughed out loud. "those aren't in the Bible" I hooted "No" he said, "I guess not". Next came my honeymoon in Italy with this same cute Catholic, where I got completely obsessed with 14th century paintings of The Annunciation, the scene where an angel comes to ask Mary if she is willing to get knocked up for God (this is the pro-choice part: Mary gets to say yes or no!). in those paintings the question came out of the angel's mouth in arcs of golden words. I was hooked. The paintings where beautiful, and they where intimate, just Mary and her fate having a little chat. I tracked them down everywhere, wasn't that hard. I brought some postcards of the paintings and taped them up with all the Frida Kahlo postcards and the Manolo Blahnik ad at my desk back home.
The BVM was brought to the forefront of my mind again in 1993, when Liz Phair sang "Help Me Mary". My squeeze didn't get what Mary was doing in the song, but I knew Liz's heroine had no where else to turn. "Help Me Mary, please/I've lost my home to thieves" Liz sang. "They bully the stereo and drink/They leave suspicious things in the sink". Now any girl worth her salt knows what Liz means. It's that feeling that you have betrayed yourself, that Wrong Element is in your house and running things. I'd felt that way for a long time, still wondering when and if I'd ever be really good. The Wrong Element had made me nice and pliant and completely unsure of myself. I thought I was too ugly, too fat, too sarcastic, too selfish, and too immoral to be fit company for anybody. Except the Catholic husband, and some cool girlfriends. And, finally the BVM.
Last summer I got really curious about the BVM, mainly because I felt she was talking to me, (not out loud, thank God.) I wanted to learn a bit more about her, and how Catholics think about her, since they've sort of cornered the market on Mary. Her story's really simple: she risked complete ostracism to do what she felt (and what God via Gabriel told her) was the right thing to do. It was not the nice thing, the acceptable thing, or the correct thing. the story of the BVM divorces goodness from niceness forever, which was just what I needed to do at the time, and is probably why she and I started holding all those conversations.
My image of Mary is very personal. Sometimes she's like Marmie from Little Women: she can see into my heart and help me be true to my own nature. Sometimes she's like Samantha from Bewitched, distracting people who are dangers to me, like helping the swervy driver in front of me onto an exit ramp. Sometimes she's Jackie Onassis, dressed to kill and drawing too much attention, like when she showed up at Lourdes and got Bernadette in big trouble. (If Manolo Blahnik designed something like those rose-feet Mary wore at Lourdes they'd be sold out until the second coming.) She was a hussy (getting to tell her fiance she was pregnant before he even got a peek at her), a nag ("Jesus, these people are at a wedding! Whip up some wine!") and a renegade, giving birth in the barn and aiding and abetting her son, an enemy of the government. But best of all, she listened to those golden words and said YES.
When you're busy being nice and docile, like I was, you can't hear anything but whether or not your good behaviour is earning you points. If Mary had been a good girl she wouldn't have had the guts to say "yes' to the golden words. She would have been afraid Joseph would leave her, or that her family would disown her. To me that's what liberation is all about: giving yourself permission to figure out what your calling is, instead of obeying everyone who wants to decide it for you.
I champion Mary as an early riot grrrl, believing in women priests and birth control, it takes all kinds. The BVM helps girls follow their hearts and turn into amazing women. Into goddesses even!"